As a busy mom, you may often feel stressed, exhausted, and overwhelmed. You understand the importance of self-care, but with a never-ending to-do list, you may struggle to know where to start. What are simple ways to improve your life as a busy working mom? I will share 12 self-care practices that I have personally incorporated and have created a positive impact in my life.

1. Give yourself grace.

You live a hectic life. You wake up and you are already feeling stressed because you are rushing to get the kids ready before dropping them off at daycare or school. Then you must drive 30-60 minutes to work. When you finish your workday, you need to pick up your children, prepare food, and take them to an extra-curricular activity. 

Everything is fast paced. You feel you cannot get a break. You are constantly multitasking trying to be good at everything and sometimes you fail. You may have experienced one or more of the following:

• Forgot to pack a show and tell toy for your children

• Missed your child’s activity due to work responsibilities

• Felt too tired to exercise or clean the house

• Forgot to study your child for a quiz

• Left your purse or cell phone in a store

I think it has happened to many of us! I remember when my husband and I missed one of my daughter’s Character Parades in Kindergarten. We both were very busy at work and could not attend. When I picked up my daughter from school, the first thing she told me was: “Mom, why weren’t you at my parade? Daddy was not there either. All the other parents were.” I felt sad knowing she was trying to find our face in the crowd. It was heartbreaking. Then I remembered all the times I have been present and how much I love and care for her.

Being there for our children’s activities means a lot to them and I do encourage you to always try to make time to attend as many as possible, however, sometimes it is impossible to attend everything and that is fine too. I am aware that not everyone has the same financial or living situation, and I know many parents are struggling to make ends meet and they cannot miss a day at work.

Remember that you are human. You are a busy mother. Give yourself grace because you are trying your best and that is what counts.

2. Say “I am” statements every morning.

One of the most life changing habits that you can include in your daily routine is waking up with a positive mindset. We all have heard psychologists say that being optimistic and focusing on the positive side of things can be a factor in attaining goals related to physical and emotional health, illnesses, and career. What are your thoughts on that?

Your mind can be a barrier to success, happiness, and even recovering from an illness. When you have constant negative thoughts, your immune system debilitates, you feel powerless, and your energy levels drop. Your negative thoughts start to control your life.

Rewire your brain to think positively.

Even if you are dealing with an illness or going through tough times at home or work, try to declare positive things in your life and stop focusing on the negative side of things. Select “I am” statements that you can say every morning before starting your daily routine. They can be short and simple or more detailed. Some examples of statements include:

• I am enough.

• I am strong.

• I am healthy.

• I am healed.

• I am healed from _____.

• I am strong physically and mentally.

• I am capable of _____.

• I am becoming the best version of myself.

Using “I am” statements as part of your daily life can set yourself for success. This doesn't mean your day will be perfect or won’t experience anything difficult, but it will allow you to start the day with hope and you will feel more energized to tackle anything that comes along. You need to believe that what you want will become a reality.

3. Practice gratitude daily.

What are you grateful for? As part of your morning routine always remind yourself of what things or people you are grateful for. Sometimes we focus too much on what we do not have, creating unnecessary stress and feelings of anger or worthlessness.

If you can shift your mindset and focus on the blessings you already have, you will experience more joy and see the things that you have not accomplished as motivation to keep working towards your goals. Reflect on your life by asking yourself questions such as:         

• Do I have a job?

• Do I have health?

• Do I have support?

• Do I have daily food to eat?

• Do I have transportation?

• Do I have people that love you?

• Do I live in a safe environment?

• Do I have opportunities to learn?

• Do I have a place to live and call home?

According to an article from the Greater Good Science Center, practicing gratitude can positively impact individuals, including those struggling with mental health challenges. In the article, researchers Joshua Brown and Joel Wong reported on the findings of their research study. The authors indicate that participants who were asked to write gratitude letters to others for three weeks reported better mental health compared to those who were asked to write about negative experiences or did no engage in a writing activity.

To practice gratitude, you can write your feelings in a journal or say them out loud. For additional information on the benefits of gratitude and activities you can practice daily, read 13 Most Popular Gratitude Exercises & Activities written by Mike Oppland.

4. Set realistic goals with due dates.

Working moms are goal-driven and want to accomplish many personal and professional goals at once. The problem is that sometimes the goals are unrealistic. Another problem is that many goals do not have target dates.

If you want to improve your life, keep achieving goals, and feel joy, there are several things you need to consider such as establishing:

• Specific goals you want to accomplish

• When you want to accomplish your goals

• Days and times you can work on your goals

After you have reflected which goals are realistic based on your busy schedule, set target dates for each goal and work on them weekly.

5. Create good eating habits.

Have you heard the saying “You are what you eat”? On Netflix, you may find many documentaries (e.g., Game Changers, What The Health, You Are What You Eat: A Twin Experiment, and Poisoned: The Dirty Truth About Food) that talk about how food is linked to illness. There is a focus on the importance of incorporating more plant-based foods into our diet to nurture our body, prevent diseases, and help in the healing process of different types of illnesses.

While most of these documentaries aim to eliminate meat from the diet and eat only plant-based foods, you do not necessarily need to cut out meat completely. Start by reflecting on your current diet and small changes you can make to your diet to improve your overall health. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Are you eating too much sugar?

• Are you drinking enough water?

• Are you eating too many processed foods?

• Are you consuming foods with too many toxic ingredients?

To set yourself up for success, start by gradually reducing your sugar intake and processed foods. Taking small, sustainable steps instead of eliminating everything at once can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed and increase your chances of staying on track.

If vegetables aren’t your favorite food, start small by trying one new vegetable for a couple of weeks, then gradually add another. Use this as an opportunity to explore new foods and experiment with different options. Creating balanced, nutrient-rich meals doesn’t have to be overwhelming; it can boost your energy and help you feel your best, even on your busiest days.

Check MyPlate on the USDA website for more information on eating a balanced diet.

6. Exercise weekly.

Exercise has been one of the most important elements to help me feel better physically and mentally. One big issue was finding time to exercise and being consistent.

Think about how exercise can help improve your overall life and try to make a goal of exercising at least 3 times per week. Do not commit to 5 days a week with a busy schedule. You will feel exhausted without even starting your fitness journey.

Start with three days a week and if you can add another day to your weekly schedule, do it.

7. Spend quality time with your family.

The time you spend with your family is priceless. Your children will appreciate more the time you spend with them on a weekly basis than the gifts you buy for them.

If your main priority is making money and having expensive things or the latest brands, you may lose focus of what your child needs in life. Try to find time to listen to how their day went, play a board game, and share a new memorable experience. It does not cost much to do many of these activities; but it does require time. Find simple bonding activities for families and make them a priority in your life.

You do not know what tomorrow brings, therefore, spend quality time with the people that matter the most.

8. Set boundaries at work.

Many working mothers have demanding jobs that require them to work 40-60 hours a week. In some cases, working mothers are required to work additional hours for free. I have been in this type of work environment, and it became extremely challenging. I constantly got sick, and I lacked any motivation or energy to do anything outside of work. That is why you need to set boundaries at work or find a job that provides work-life balance.

If you always say YES to tasks that do not correspond to you or work for free, then you are setting yourself for burnout. Being a hard worker, responsible, and always giving your best does not equate to doing things that are beyond the scope of your responsibilities or that interfere with your work schedule and family responsibilities.

Before accepting an offer, be sure to know the company expectations. Ask all the necessary questions that can affect the quality of your life before accepting the position. Ask questions related to the following:

• PTO and vacation time policies

• Sick days

• Working schedule

• Overtime and additional pay

• Flexibility

• 401K or retirement plans

Unfortunately, some companies advertise themselves as providing work-life balance and when reality strikes, it is far from that. If you accept a position and internal changes are made afterwards, speak to your supervisor about how these changes affect your personal life. Learn to know your worth and always strive to be treated with respect.

9. Choose wisely who you spend your time with.

There are people that we meet throughout the years that help us grow and fill our lives with joy. On the other hand, there are people that come to our lives to create chaos. Beware! Reflect on the following questions:

• Who do you spend your time with?

• How would you describe them?

• Are they cheerful and optimistic?

• Are they quiet and calm?

• Are they pessimistic?

• Do they take care of themselves?

• Do they set and reach goals?

• Are they always depending on others?

• Are they career oriented?

• Do they constantly criticize you?

Your time is valuable, therefore choose wisely who you spend it with. If you are already drained from a hectic week, why would you want to spend time with someone that is always competing with you, disrespecting you, or making you feel less? These actions can be detrimental to your physical and mental health without you even knowing it.

Stand your ground and avoid spending your precious time on toxic people. You always want to be unique and love yourself, and this means distancing yourself from people that rob your joy.

10. Learn something new.

One of the best things you can do to improve your life as a working mother is to learn something new. You may think I am crazy for suggesting adding something else to your plate, but I am not. You may have to sacrifice scrolling on your phone or watching a new Netflix series, but it will be worth it.

As working mothers, we are busy all the time and may feel tired of doing the same things every week. We need something new and exciting to motivate us. Is there a new skill you want to learn? Is there a hobby you want to try? Do not be afraid of tackling a new adventure if it is something that will bring you purpose and joy.

11. Live simply.

One key advice I can give you is to start living a simpler life, one that makes you feel at peace. We live in a modern world with heavy social media presence where we are bombarded daily with what we need to buy even if we do not need it. Stop letting people dictate how to live and learn to focus on what matters in your life.

12. Do a social media detox.

One of the biggest reasons we cannot accomplish goals is because of procrastination. We are all guilty. We love scrolling through our social media feed to know what is new or who posted. Once you open your phone, you receive notifications from Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, TikTok, and YouTube to mention a few apps.

Look for ways to disconnect from social media for a while or to not depend on it daily. Some steps you can take to decrease procrastination are:

1. Remove apps from your phone, especially those related to social media.

2. If you do not want to remove a particular app, turn off the notifications or set timers for when to use the app.

3. Designate places or times when there is no phone allowed. This can be implemented as a family rule.

Social media can hinder your productivity and produce stress because you are constantly needing to know what other people are doing. Take a break! Disconnect from social media to focus on your goals. It takes time to adapt, but you will see how beneficial it is for your productivity and wellbeing.

Final Thoughts

It is time to improve your life as a busy working mom. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIHM), incorporating self-care helps improve your physical health as well as your mental health.

Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Today is the day that you need to start making the changes you know will help you live a life that is worth living and where you can feel at peace.

Who is ready to start making small changes?

Best wishes,

Mel